


And in the Dark of Night, They'll be Coming for you, Dear

by SilentShifter (orphan_account)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Blood, Explicit Language, Gore, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Levi is being haunted, M/M, Mental Instability, Mercy Killing, OR IS HE, im so bad at tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 09:30:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10241615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/SilentShifter
Summary: The creaking of the floorboards and the walls. He hears them-- shuffling of the feet, whispers of the dead, through the halls, in his head. They go on like that for days, weeks, months. In the morning, the afternoon, the evening, and the night. Sometimes he wonders if he's going crazy. Other times, he doubts any of it is real at all.The lights flicker; is it him? Is it him?!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Told from Levi's POV.

I wanted to tell him. 

Hell, whenever he’d so much as look my way it took everything to not look back. The fool actually found hope in me. He saw a freedom radiating from my corrupted soul, and I didn’t see why- there was nothing to appreciate because I was just a liar. In his big, wet eyes… he’s waiting for some sort of miracle, I can see it. The tears were so obvious. 

“I’m just… upset… no reason in particular,” he would stutter after an experiment, but per usual, I called bullshit. “What’s hurting? Tell me so Hanji can treat it, shitty brat,” I would then scold him, but he always shook his head like an idiot and stumbled to his feet, still clutching his gut with some twisted expression. 

I didn't tell him about the day I saw him sneak behind the building and cough up blood. 

He was just kneeling there, retching up his guts and wheezing like some kid with lung disease or something. I wanted to go ahead and ask him what was up, but the way he looked around and wiped his mouth, kicking dirt over his mess and almost sneaking away, I felt guilty. So incredibly guilty. I remember just staring ahead for a moment, but that became a thing, honestly. I think it was just my brain trying to understand why I couldn’t breathe. 

Often, his desperation broke me. The way he clawed at the thick fabric of my jacket with his dirty fingernails, and cried into my shirt like a young child. It was shortly after Petra and the others died. I kept trying to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, but he denied it every time, resting yet another burden on his thin shoulders. I can still remember grimacing at the snot on my cravat. My shirt was wet with his tears, I could feel it seep through the thin cloth and make contact with my skin… 

I don’t know how anyone, and I mean anyone, really… could endure as much as he has, and at an age so tender. I watched him drift his bloody hand near his tear-ridden face, staring straight ahead with the most awful, suffering gaze. The flesh he bit from his hand only just started healing, raising titan smoke into an empty sky. Everything about him at that moment was so pathetic, but I couldn’t look away from the beauty of it either. 

“Heichou,”

I heard him gasp, quietly; although it was obvious he was trying hard to breathe smoothly. I just stared at my blade, broken at the edge. I couldn’t recall how that happened. 

“Heichou, is it over?” 

He asked me again with that hoping voice. God, did it bug me. I must have not heard him the first time, because now he was looking at me expectantly. Without answering, I watched him continue to peer around with those damned big ass eyes, and it made me remember how much I wanted to kiss them. He crouched on his hands and knees, like an animal… it seemed feral, like the look in his flaming jade green eyes. Did I mention that I really wanted to kiss them?

“H-” 

“I heard you.” I said. 

He stared at me for a moment at that, looking so pitiable with crimson blood smeared against his lips and cheek, bandages wrapped sloppily against his wounded hand. Something made me wonder if it hurt as much as I thought it did, since he always bit the hell out of it. No one ever knew, since the brat never complained. And the funny thing was, he kept the poor thing close to his mouth like he was ready to bite it again if necessary. I really wanted to cry at that. 

We just looked at each other for a long moment, longer than I would’ve wanted, before he buckled over on his knees and let sobs rack his body. It wasn't over. It never would be. The miserable sounds he made hurt me something awful. I sort of didn’t want to hear it, that’s how much it made my heart ache. 

“Tch….” Was all I said, clenching my fists at my sides, which hurt like hell. I almost forgot that a couple of my ribs were probably broken. 

“C-Captain…’” 

He looked down, holding his hands against his face and rubbing them across his eyes and tugging on his chestnut hair like he was in the worst pain you could’ve imagined. The tears were still coming down his face, mixing with the blood and it was all just making me so goddamn angry. 

What in the name of hell did he want me to do? What… what could I have done? 

Without thinking, I began to amble towards him, although it was more of a limp since I couldn’t even stand straight, my ribs hurt so bad. He was still on his knees and trembling, letting these little noises past his lips in an attempt to suppress the sobs. I wanted to grab his collar and scream in his stupid face, telling him to let it out because it was okay to cry and because I cried all the time, that he was still a kid and that kids his age shouldn’t be afraid to show these emotions. It contradicted everything he was taught in the Survey Corps, but that was dead now. 

Instead, I took him into my hold, feeling the boy wrap his arms around my neck. He was probably looking for some closure in my embrace. I didn’t want to give him any false hopes… probably already was. 

“What do you want?” I asked him, looking straight ahead with the worst pains running through my body, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t wanna ruin the sappiness of the moment. It was foolish of me, I know. 

He only shook his head, and I can feel him rub his nose against my shirt, probably wiping snot all over it again. I couldn’t say I cared, but I wondered why the brat had so much mucus in his body. He was still trembling like hell and I didn’t know what to do about it. The worst thing is to pretend to know when you really don’t. It really is the worst thing. 

“Can I help?” Is what I said then. There was a crazy thought brewing in my mind but I didn’t try to stop it. Like hell I would, everything was quite screwed up already. If I had a way to make him feel better, I would do it. He sort of shook his head again, but this time I could feel the hesitance and I think that’s when I lost it. 

Next thing I knew, There was blood all over me and he was gasping, the hold on my neck strengthening and faltering and I still didn’t know what to do. It really sucked. I just didn’t want him to suffer anymore, y’know? 

“Is that why you killed Eren, Levi?” 

I slowly looked over at Hange. She was sitting forward at the side of the bed, her hands interlocked with each other and some fog covering her goggles from her breathing. It looked real eerie, but I couldn’t really feel enough at all to be intimidated. 

“I didn’t kill him,” I protested weakly, which was really a terrible plea of innocence that I knew wouldn’t be taken into account anyway. It didn’t really matter who you were, some sort of justice system could always bite you in the ass, couldn’t it? “I set him free. Not like he could do shit in this world, anyway.” 

Hange didn’t say anything at that, and there was an uncomfortable silence in the room that seemed to suffocate me more than the humid summer air. She sighed heavily, like she felt a great weight on her chest, and sat back in her chair with her hands covering her face. I’ll be honest, it kinda shocked me. She never did things like that.

After a while of me laying on the bed all beat up and unable to move and Hange with her hands on her face, I finally said something. Hell if I knew it would make the air thicker. 

“He never told me anything, you know?” 

She didn’t move. I decided to just keep talking because that’s what came natural to me. 

“I tried to ask him what was wrong all the time. I tried, but it never worked. He was such a stubborn shitty bastard. And the fact that he had something seriously wrong with him didn’t make it any better. After his titan lost control and killed that shit ton of recruits, I wanted to kill him, because I knew I had to. But then I wondered how he felt. The poor brat was barely himself by the time I found him. Just kneeling on the floor like some animal. His eyes were bugged out. He was crying and telling me to make it stop. I didn’t even know what was hurting, how the hell could I make him feel better? It got so frustrating, but I didn’t kill him because those were my orders, I did it because I wanted to help.” 

By now, Hange was looking straight at me. I felt kind of proud to have gotten her attention, but only because I must have been saying some fucked up shit. 

“When I stabbed him, I didn’t think. And even as I was doing it, the poor brat was whispering thank you into my ear, and crying into my neck, making me feel like I just did the best thing. I didn’t kill him, four-eyes.” 

I saw a small tear roll down her cheek from behind her goggles, and if I said it didn’t make me feel bad I would’ve been lying. Sadly, that came naturally to me, too. 

“I’ll check back on your wounds later…” Hange said with some dead, monotone voice, standing slowly after the tear dropped from her face. I watched her body move out of the room, and wouldn’t take my eyes off of the door even after it closed behind her. Damn, I really screwed something up, didn’t I? 

Before Hange left, I heard her say something about nightmares. People didn’t think I had bad dreams. I had them everyday. The empty hallways, the creaking doors… it all haunted me. 

I saw Petra sometimes. 

Often she would just walk around, doing nothing special, maybe carrying a pot full of water or my tray of morning tea. Sometimes I heard her and Oluo yelling at each other, and Erd sighing at the other end of the hallway, but it was all really faint, like a dream. 

Just recently, I now hear and see him. 

Calling my name, tripping over something, his hurried footsteps along the corridor to catch up with me. I would turn around and expect to see his big green eyes and soft brown hair, but all I see is another cold, empty hallway. The most terrible ache racks my chest right then, and I feel my breath speeding up, and then all I want to do is see him. 

In another second, I’m sitting on the floor with my back against a wall, loosening my cravat which is always uncomfortable as hell, and rubbing my eyes to keep from crying. And I think at that moment, ‘aren’t I a pathetic piece of shit?’ 

Hange tells me I have schizophrenia. 

I didn’t believe one word of it, but that’s not until I hear footsteps down the hall. I quickly look to my left, to only see its typical emptiness. But the footfalls are getting closer, and heavier, and I’m panicking, and sliding back on my ass and hands like an idiot instead of standing. All I can do is gasp and panic, until the steps sound like they’re right in front of me. It wasn’t funny, I could feel the sweat running down my chest through my shirt and my eyes become uncommonly wide. 

Just as the footsteps reach me, they disappear. It was probably him, running towards me, fucking with me like the brat he was. I chuckled nervously thinking it would ease my tension and sat there on the floor, shaking like a madman. 

Maybe this is what Hange meant when she mentioned nightmares... 

Except… I wish they would only come at night.


End file.
